Gendurality and Sexuality

Instrumental and expressive gets sorted into the binary of masculine and feminine by sex role scripts. This is done by allocating them based on biological sex in the form of instrumental and expressive roles, these roles instruct the sexes which things to be interested in and how to be as a person. Gendurality is the dimension of self we experience masculine or feminine,  related to gender expression and separate from gender identity(core sex identity) but can be conflated. Gendurality is what culture turns aspects of personality into when it structures it around sex expectations.

Sexuality gets shaped by the sex role scripts too, not just its orientation but its very expression. We learn instrumental and expressive ways of conducting sexuality regardless of sexual orientation. The sex role scripts demand expressive sexual expression from females and instrumental sexual expression from males. Expressive sexual expression demands one operate in the realm of sexuality as they do in the realm of gendurality. For females this is to mean they are to be the one approached, the one who attracts via an expressive display, the one to be receptive and open and the one who must learn to see sexuality in a connected relationship orientated way. Not in a detached way and never as the one who takes the lead or approaches.  Their sexuality must be submissive, not aggressive or dominant,  and they must be willing to put the wants of their partner above their own. Its this aspect that makes it submissive, not the anatomical position they are also expected to take.

The sex role scripts tell males to conduct their sexuality in a direct way, in a detached way and in a decisive way. They are the ones who must pursue , and the ones who are taught not to take no for an answer, instead no means yes if one pursues harder. The sex role scripts say male sexuality must be goal orientated, not connection orientated and the females who are complying with the expressive mandate are the goals to be pursued. If the goals object to being pursued they should be pursued harder until they no longer object, if she says no she is to be pursued until she says yes. The sex act itself is to be viewed as a goal, an achievement to brag about to ones instrumental script comrades and each conquest contributes to his tally of achieving masculinity. To care about her feelings would be just too feminine, because it would mean being expressive, being connected and being all the things coded feminine. Sex role scripts say the expressive one must be female and she must be the fucked, the instrumental one must be male and the fucker. The sex role scripts make all sexuality fall into this dynamic, one where the one who receives is always feminized regardless of if they are female and always seen as inferior.

Sex role scripts are why certain personality types are linked straight away with sexuality, more so by those on the right. This is because an expressive male gets seen as submissive , and this places him in the position of woman and woman is seen as submissive to man. Its assumes if one is open, flexible, cooperative or nurturing that they are incapable of being decisive, dominant or powerful. If that one is male then they are seen as not having what it takes to take charge of a woman, to be the fucker and is instead the one who wants to be the fucked. Instrumental females are seen as dominant, resistive and usually dykes because its assumed the presence of these traits will mean one is unwilling to be fucked or pursued and will instead want to be the one who pursues and fucks.

Sex role scripts have no place in them for equal sexuality regardless of sexual position, not when sexual position and social position are fused. Sex role scripts only have two directions for human sexuality and those are male and dominant and female and submissive. The sex role scripts act to make same sex sexuality difficult because they make it hard to envision sexual relations that are fluid and void of a power dynamic. So what happens is patterns that represent the male dominant and female submissive power dynamic appear in same sex relationships? On some level everyone looks down on the one who appears to conduct sexuality expressively, they become the one who takes it and viewed as submissive.   People also make assumptions about how one conducts their sexuality based on how they conduct themselves in other areas of life and this influences who is seen as a couple that will work and who isn’t. If one has a take charge personality they must like to take charge in the bedroom too, and they must lack the traits needed to fully care about the fucked. This is why we have a concept of sexual tops being aggressives and why the very word we use to describe sex, being fucked is also a word used to describe one who was at the receiving end of misconduct.

Sex role scripts create dependency between males and females, and the illusion of opposite energies of masculinity and femininity that need to be balanced.  Gendurality is given a sexual charge when linked with sexuality via sex role scripts. The very traits that allow males to maintain power become attractive in males and the very traits that keep females submissive are sexualized in females. We must return gendurality to its original state, by freeing it from sexuality and anatomical sex and allowing it to take its original place as humanity’s second creative base. Our first creative base is the ability to reproduce sexually and create other human beings, the sexed body and the sexual act allow this to take place. Our sex bodies and sexuality have other functions apart from this though, we can be creative without imagination and use sexuality in ways that dont lead to reproduction. We can also be creative with our minds and use our bodies to build the structures of civilization and make the decisions needed to do so. There is no reason to exclude people from the second creative base based on how their body carries out the first creative base. There is no reason for sex role scripts that tell people based on reproductive anatomy how to produce other things. Sexed anatomy only says how one produces another person, by depositing a sperm or birthing a baby. Sexed anatomy does not say how one is to use their mind or body in non reproductive related ways, sexed anatomy does not even say one has to reproduce, it says one may be able to and it says how. Sexed anatomy does not even say one is a man or woman, and the sexed anatomy of humanity as a whole does not fit into two clear directions. There is nothing in nature that points to a need for a sex based power structure like the ones humans created.

Gendurality is a set of creative traits and abilities that humans have linked to sex, and sexualized. Without these creative traits building civilization and culture either physically or mentally would not be possible. All the traits that lead to the drive and motivation to be creative, to explore and discover, to work and produce, to connect with each other, build teams and co operate are what makes humans as a specie be able to survive. All individuals are a blend of all possibilities and all with the ability of fluidity.  It just happens culture has taken all these things are attached them to sexed anatomy and later to core sex identity (gender identity) and then sexualized the whole thing. Through this we have a concept of certain tasks making people less attractive sexually, those who find females or males outside their allocated roles less attractive  and those who see those outside their allocated roles less manly or womanly or less heterosexual or more queer. None of these things in themselves are a problem, but what is a problem is the link up between sexed anatomy, core sex identity, sexuality and gendurality.  It matters because if doing certain things or expressing part of oneself makes one feel less attractive, less of the sexual orientation they are, or at risk of having their identity as a man or woman questioned it acts as a deterrent to do certain things or be certain ways. It matters because if having certain anatomy means one has to also have certain personality traits shaped around how that anatomy may function sexually or reproductively, no one gets to be their full potential. It matters because of the underlying power structure needs to be destroyed and doing so will take more than some people breaking the rules.

Out of all the things constructed by the sex role scripts the structure of heterosexuality has to be the most hollow. This is a world where the average het male struggles to tell most females are female if they dont dress in a certain way and even if he can he cant see them as attractive outside the cultural definitions of femininity. Its a world where women are told they look like men if they dont wear make up or long hair, and where the line between attractive to the average het man and repulsive is one not drawn by nature its instead drawn by culture. Nature did not make female looking like what the average het man finds attractive, no did it make them acting what the average het man finds attractive. As nature did not make the basis of femininity, culture did and as femininity and not sexed anatomy is the basis for het male attraction its clear heterosexuality as it stands is a social construct. Outside the social structure attraction will still occur between males and females, and some will have an orientation more in this direction. Its possible without the constructs of masculine and feminine acting to narrow down the pool of who is male or female, the angle of who is found attractive will widen and not narrow. This wont be as confined to anatomical sex as it appears to be now. The difference will be gendurality wont be fused with sex or sorted into a binary so a polarized concept of what a man or woman looks like wont exist. Whats now masculine and feminine as we know it, the very binary of female, feminine and attracted to men(male and masculine men) and male, masculine and attracted to women (female and feminine) will be gone. Once gendurality is turned back into what it should be and away from what the sex role scripts made it, then it won’t be able to create the sexual power dynamic any longer and neither will its associated traits act to sexualize or desexualize a person based on ideas around atomical sex. When ones sexuality is no longer linked to an ego based sense of social power, or an ego based sense of social submission to someone elses power, those who would once be a threat to your social position are no longer so. The repelling force is removed and people can become attractive who were attractive before (like a partner who is stronger than you when you have a social mandate to appear strong).

Post sex role scripts gendurality will be an open landscape (expressive aspect) that all may navigate (instrumental aspect). This landscape is the world post patriarchy or post whatever created the sex role scripts, be it an accident, a class structure or a patriarchy that was intentional or accidental. Something that formed over so many generations where communication between all creators could not have occurred directly. The only way to ensure its survival was to pass down certain ways of behaving, ensuring human creative potential is controlled. The same dynamic is recreated again every generation.

The new landscape will be a place where those who like being strong lift weights. Those with muscles lift things rather than those with penises being told they must grow muscles so they can lift things. Those who are expressive are expressive because they naturally have a lot of expressive personality traits, not because they have a vagina so have had the expressive script forced on them. Those who have a lot of instrumental traits learn they cannot use them to make decisions for others, only for themselves but there is lots they can run and control for the benefit of others, and after a collective decision is made for them to do so. The core of instrumentality here is active creation, not power to fit everyone else into ones plans and not active destruction through warfare. The core of expressiveness here is cooperative connection, not forced connection. No longer will expressive traits like talk time or nurturance be something to be extracted from a person and used to further agendas that oppress these people. Less people will need nurturance in a world where instrumentality in the form of destructive action is not leading to violence and destruction.

The instrumental will become the expressive, action will further connection as we build to share and communicate before we build. On an individual level whats instrumental can become a form of expression, and whats expressive can be instrumented. Social structures emerge that are unimaginable now, but will be greater than any blending together of what exists now. We cant stock guns alongside dolls or hospitals alongside army camps and call it a balanced society just because all things are represented and we no longer code them by sex. Not if we have not ended the misuse of instrumentality and the exploitation of expressiveness and have instead just changed who we put in each role. When the instrumental in us is misused the expressive in all has to pay, co operation and connection will always be a casualty of violence and destruction and nurturance will always have to clean up the mess.

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